Mind your own business, nigger!

Michal BasikRoztoky, near PragueJuly 2000
The story I’m about to tell you isn’t very nice, even though it’s about me.
It happened one summer about twelve years ago. My father, my stepmother, my sisters and I used to go every year to Mostek, in eastern Bohemia. There wasn’t anything unique about it. We would go mushroom-picking, look for garnets in the stream, and – best of all – we camped out for our entire stay.
We soon noticed that our neighbors had a great many children, ten or so. It turned out that they were foster parents to most of the kids. I admire people like that to this day. They were able to create a close-knit family that was happier than many a biological one.
I’ve had some experience of that, so I know what I’m talking about.
But back to my story. We began to play with all the kids and in time became really good friends.
One of the kids was Maruska, a little Romany girl who may have been six or seven years old at the time. I think I remember that she was very beautiful – which is usually the case with Romany children. We played together a lot and I never noticed that she was different from anyone else I knew.
One time the whole gang of us went to the forest to pick wild blueberries.
My sisters were thirteen and fourteen, so they had a big advantage over me. They teased me the whole way.
That made me feel bad, and I became so cranky that I began to lose control of myself.
So then it happened.
Maruska, who must have been quite sensitive, asked me what was the matter.
I blew up and screamed at her, “Mind your own business, nigger!”
Maruska must have been shocked. Maybe she burst into tears. I don’t remember the details.
The worst part is that I was too proud to apologize – although in the end I was forced to. I got a long sermon. And this must have done something for me, because I’m ashamed of the episode to this day.
It could be that this is the reason that I see Roma a little differently than most people around me do.
I also hope that Maruska will read this story and remember me. I would like to ask her forgiveness, this time sincerely.

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